Disclaimer- This post was written and shared with my daughter’s permission!
My previous Dress Code Post got me thinking about clothing, and brought back yet another memory.
A few years ago, my daughter’s school held a dance immediately after school. She had picked out a green dress to wear because it was St. Patrick’s Day, and there was a contest on who could wear the most green.
She’d had that dress for years, and while she had grown much taller, she hadn’t grown “thicker” so the dress still fit, although it was shorter. It was far too short for me to allow her to wear outside of the house. It wasn’t obscenely short, just too-short-for-my-daughter-short. I told her that I was sorry, but I was not comfortable with her wearing that dress. She was upset because she didn’t have any other green clothing.
Later on I went into her room and I took the dress and hid it in the laundry room until I had some other items to put together for a donate bag.
The next day, while she was in school, I went through baby clothes and bagged up some that no longer fit Ziggy. I went to grab the dress from the laundry room, and it was gone. My first thought… Oh, no she didn’t… I went to her room and looked for it, but it wasn’t there.
I called her school, and explained my weird request to randomly show up at her dance for an outfit inspection, and they agreed. After school, I drove to her school and strapped the baby into the ergo and went in to talk with her principal. Having children of his own, he understood my concerns. I agreed to wait outside the cafeteria, while he went in to find her, to save her the embarrassed of her mother wandering the dimmed room, filled with tweens, with a baby strapped to her chest, looking for her. Her principal came out, followed by GG… in that green dress. I shook my head, told her to say goodbye to her friends and get her stuff. She didn’t fight me. She knew that she had done wrong.
My daughter has learned that we have restrictions on what she wears for a reason, and they aren’t unreasonable. She has learned a valuable lesson is how what she wears speaks volumes about how people perceive her, especially in seeing how other girls dress.
She makes much better choices in her clothing now. I don’t have to worry about her wearing way too short shorts. (ahem… sorry Dad and Stepmom for that one time!)
Incidentally, she knows now that I am not above embarrassing her if I think she’s broken some rules.