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Kids Say The Darnedest Things

– Speed was talking about his belly button. I don’t remember what specifically he was saying about it, but I started to tell him about how special his belly button is, and how it once connected him to me. He said, “Yeah, I know, though the vocal cord.” I started laughing and husband had to explain to him that he meant “umbilical cord”.

– Speed is totally not a morning person. The other day he woke up before school and as they passed on the stairs, GG said, “Good morning” to him. He just grunted at her in response. She said, “Wow. Okay then, I guess you’re really not a morning person.” He grunted louder and replied, “You should know better than to say ‘good morning’ to me. You know I’m not a morning person!”

– Speed asked me what he could have for a snack. I decided to be super nice since he was being super helpful to me. I told him he could have a “C-O-O-K-I-E”, spelling it out so as to avoid a tantrum from the toddler. Speed thinks a moment and then yells out, “Oh! Cookie! I get it!” So much for spelling it out!
Same thing actually happened again after dinner when I whispered “Cookie”.

– We were in the car and my husband was laughing about something. I told the kids that their father had lost it. GG said, “Oh, I thought he was laughing because of something you’d said. Oh wait, you’re not funny. You don’t make jokes… And don’t even say that you made me!”

– Speed is famous for stalling at bedtime. I’ll put him to bed and minutes later, I hear him calling from the top of the stairs. He has water upstairs, so he can’t use that as an excuse. I always tell my kids to get a light snack a half hour before bedtime. Now he says he’s afraid. His fears have been varied and interesting… robots, aliens. He has been fearful of a meteor falling from the sky and landing directly on his bed. He’s been afraid of break-ins and fires. He’s been scared that someone will drive by shooting a gun and bullets will go through his wall… on the second story… not to mention that we live in a nice neighborhood, and have never lived anywhere where drive-bys occur.
The other night he came halfway down the stairs and said, “I’m still afraid of bombs… aren’t our walls made of ceramic?”

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2 thoughts on “Kids Say The Darnedest Things

  1. Kids do say the craziest things. And it always makes me wonder…. If these are the things they’re saying, how many more crazy things are they thinking? It’s almost scary!

    • Luckily? with my older son, he doesn’t have a filter, so he says exactly what he’s thinking. He definitely has some silly thoughts!

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