24 years

It’s a night that will haunt my memory for the rest of my life.  November 22, 1987.

My Mom had been battling cancer for years.  It had started out as ovarian cancer.  After a hysterectomy and chemo, she had gone into remission.  Unfortunately, the cancer returned.  It had spread throughout her body.
She was given the option to go home, but she declined.  I think that she was afraid that she would pass away at night, while my Dad was at work.  I would have been home alone with her.

The night of November 22, I was at home when my Dad called from work and told me to hurry up and get ready.  They didn’t think my Mom would make it through the night and my aunt would pick me up to bring me to the hospital.  I was terrified.  I was filled with panic.
The 20 minute ride to the hospital seemed to last an eternity.  My mind raced and I felt sick.  I was only 11 years old.  Who would take care of me?  How could I survive without my Mama?
When we were less than 5 minutes from the hospital, a sudden, inexplicable calm fell over me, and I knew that everything was going to be okay, I was going to be okay.

As soon as we walked into the lobby of the hospital, we were greeted by a friend of the family, who was in health care and had been an enormous help to us through the years.  She gave us that look.  She said the words that still ring in my head, “I’m sorry.  She passed away about three minutes ago.”  In that single instant, at only 11 years old, my entire life was forever changed.
I became a motherless daughter.
My Mom was only 37 years old, she wasn’t supposed to leave me yet.  But she did.

That night I saw everyone break down in tears over her loss.

She was an amazing woman.  She touched the hearts of every single person that she met.  She was the best mother anyone could possibly ask for.

It’s been 24 years.  My heart still hurts.  It aches with the memories of everything we shared, and of everything she has missed.

Do me a favor, if you still have your Mom, today give her a hug or give her a call and tell her that you love her?

“It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
Rose Kennedy

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2 thoughts on “24 years

  1. I know your pain well as I am a motherless daughter, lost my own mom 7 years ago. While I was already an adult when she passed, it still seemed too soon. Like you I tell people all the time, if you have a mother barring she is insane and truly toxic, love her now because she will not be here with you forever.

    Time doesn’t heal wounds, for me it’s no longer a sharp pain but a dull one and holidays are still hard on me as my mom loved em!

    Hugs to you and yours!

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